I have always been skinny or more precisely under weight. Or at least people around me thought so pretty much. As much as I have heard from my parents, I was born healthy and chubby. My first birthday picture depicts a fat kid with tight tops showing bulges wearing bangles that fitted by mother’s hand at that time. But things changed after that. I got measles and lost all baby fat and turned into a skinny underweight kid. And I continued to be so for many many years.
Fortunately we didn’t have a weight machine at every home at that time. So my understanding of being under weight came from comments made from people “আল্লাহ কি শুকনা। হায় হায় বাবা মা সব খেয়ে ফেলে। মেয়েকে কিছু খেতে দেন না? Or people who would tell me they meet me everytime how I have become skinnier than the last time they saw me.
And then there was the mirror which showed my broken cheek, my scrawny hands. My body told me I was weak. I will get tired doing the simplest of things. I didn’t have great appetite and most of the days I will prefer a cup of tea with toast or a paratha as breakfast, rice with egg or chicken in lunch and dinner. Afternoon snacks was a difficult battle of a glass of milk (sometimes mixed with horlicks or chocolate) and biscuits and a fruit here and there. My father was a great appreciator of food and used to bring all sorts of things- his particular favorite was fruits. He used to eat them and put them on skin as well. But I didn’t pick up any of those in that tender age. But I realized that the amount of rice taken by me was quite good. Sometimes people will notice that and tell me স্রু পেটে গ্রু আটে। (she can even consume a full cow)
With my height of 5 feet 2 inch I was hardly 40 kilos when I got married. And I thought I have been gifted with something in my stomach allowing me to eat as much as I want but not to gain weight. But then things started to change AND I gained- I had a growth in appetite when I took birth control pills and that added to my weight. I stopped taking the pills, and my weight got stuck at 48 till I had my baby at the age of 30. I gained up to 60 kg throughout my pregnancy and 5 kilos went by just after the delivery. Everyone appreciated my new look, with the gained weight my skin looked glowing and healthy. But. But I wasn’t feeling strong and the bulge around my middle part of the body hanged like a loose piece of meat. I didn’t know what to do. As I aged I saw that my body is not being as cooperative as it used to be, my metabolism is down, my sweet craving is stronger, I easily gained weight and I always felt tired. I would pant even with the slightest of hardwork. A sense of uncomfyness was brewing inside me.
Oneday while getting ready for a program I tried 10 blouses and couldn’t fit in any! I rushed to the weigh machine. The mark was almost 60kg. A body structure that has been used to carry weight between 40 to hardly 50kilo, 60 kilo was a lot. That day I went to the program wearing a salwar kameez but I decided that now I need to do something to take charge of my life.
I talked with the people who were overweight earlier and lost significant weight. I liked the juice diet. Yes, this is easy I can do it, I love juice. Day 1 I happily went through juicing but that day the only thing I thought about is food- all sorts of food. As far as I remember I went to sleep at 7pm that day- I was so tired and I felt so angry, I don’t know why. I should have been happy, I am getting healthier. Day 2 I only thought about food with giving up on rice during lunch hour. By that time I had piercing headache and ate to my heart content for the rest of the day. Day 3 didn’t come. I thought I can start doing juicing the next week again-‘I will slowly get used to it’ I told myself. But in between I got a magic diet named “EGG diet”. 6 boiled eggs in a day, unlimited amounts of cucumber, apple and green tea. Yes, this is the diet with protein, fiber, carb. This will work. This did work, but I realized 3 days at a stretch was good enough. Then I went back to my original diet. I did lose weight- some 2-3 kilos. I also felt ok- not too weak I guess. So I repeated the same after 10 days but something was telling me it wasn’t a long term solution. I cant keep dieting like this for the rest of my life! Its just a quick fix!
This is the time I sat quietly and took a list of things that I eat and things that I do. I saw that I needed lifestyle change- I ate unhealthy almost every part of the day, I hardly exercise and I was very negative about my body imaging.
I started small. Its easy to learn these days if you only wish to learn and research properly. I went back to basics of nutrition and realized that I needed a balanced diet not some skewed all liquid or 3 item diet. I started working on my portions. The first thing that I addressed was my portion size of rice! Do I really need that plate full of rice and then a bit of vegetable on the side and a piece of fish or meat on the other. I realized I needed to balance what I eat, so I reduced my rice portion size and increased my vegetable and protein intake (which I later found out is a concept called low carb diet). I made sure that I was eating one egg with few rotis (home-made breads) with fruits and vegetables in the morning. I was a big fan of biscuits, but I slowly replaced my biscuits with my other favorites nuts and dates. And I joined few office colleagues for yoga class twice a week, I kept practicing yoga at home too for 10 minutes each day. Within 3 weeks I was feeling lighter and stronger. After that I had glitches here and there, I have gone through ups and downs but I have realized there is no alternative to a balanced home cooked diet and moving your body.
Healthy weight should be part of our lifestyle, not an occasional target. We need to give ourselves the most importance- because if ‘I’ exist only then I will be able to do for others. Let us all build a healthy me and healthy us. let’s build a healthy Bengal.
